The Wiggles are basically a group of dudes who sing pretty lame songs that for some reason, children love. The Wiggles apparently tour the US, Canada and Australia pretty frequently, so there is a good chance the child in your life may cajole you into taking them to a Wiggles concert. Unless you love Pop-y classics like “Toot Toot Chugga Chugga Big Red Car”, “Do the Monkey”, or the eponymously titled “Get Ready to Wiggle”, I recommend ear plugs (and if you have a designated driver, plenty of alcohol. I don’t know how a concert of this magnitude could be tolerable without a decent buzz.) I would recommend trying to steer the toddler in question away from the concert and towards many of The Wiggles toys and items that don’t actually play music. There are plenty of Wiggles books, backpacks and kids’ clothing options to satisfy any Wiggle-loving individual. And if the kid really, REALLY wants to sing along, Wiggles DVDs are a lot less grueling to endure than an actual concert.

I love kids, but I don’t necessarily “get” them. They are into a lot of stuff that, frankly, I find a little annoying. But, therein lies the beauty: not being a parent myself, I only have to deal with these annoyances in teeny tiny doses. And a little knowledge of what kids like makes it easy to hit a home run in the gift department every time, at least with the kid in question. So I’ve decided to compile a top ten list of things kids like that I don’t quite understand.

1. Elmo

2. The Wiggles

3. Disney Princesses

4. Dora the Explorer

5. Thomas the Tank Engine

6. Freaky looking dolls like Bratz and Baby Alive

7. Cars

8. Nickelodeon

9. Blue’s Clues

10. Hannah Montana

So stay tuned for my in-depth reports coming soon!