Here are some novel ideas to soothe screaming babies:

Cry No More pacifier: For the baby that likes his binky with some Fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Baby Massage: I think I speak for all babies when I say baby massage sounds like a fantastic idea.

A funky rocking chair: Because Mom and Dad need to relax just as much as Baby.

Slumber Bear: For the discerning baby who demands “ACTUAL intra-uterine recorded womb sounds” in his sleep aids.

SheKnows.com has this great post on extravagant baby gear and gifts, perfect for the infant who already has everything. My favorite is the $17, 000 diamond-encrusted pacifier that is not recommended for actual use. Babies like to put things in their mouth even when those things don’t look like things that they are supposed to put in their mouth, so of course it makes perfect sense to present them with this “fabulous keepsake”. I predict a rash of highly-publicized emergency room visits in the next few years as celebrity toddlers swallow tiny pave cut white diamonds after confusing the shiny bauble for their actual pacifier. Oh well, at least TMZ will have something to talk about.