I noticed a plastic Elmo toy called the Sesame Street Giggle Doodler in the back window of a Mercedes today. Yes, I am ridiculous enough to be able to identify the kind of toy I see in the back of a car driving past. Anyway, it brought to mind a few more random Elmo thoughts that I want to jot down before moving on to m next kid mystery:

• I originally thought Elmo was the result of some genetic experiment combining Grover’s DNA with a turnip, but it turns out he actually has a whole back story that includes a mother who is possibly named Gladys, a mustached father named Louie and an older sister named Daisy.
• In addition to being annoying, Elmo dolls sometimes make creepy threats–check out this video. (Notice the mother says that her son was hooked on Elmo ever since he saw Elmo on his diaper. I think she is probably referring to Pampers Pull-up, which currently feature Dora the Explorer and Go Diego Go. When I get to my post on Dora the Explorer, I will be curious to see if her face on the Pampers sparked the current Dora craze.)
• Another Elmo death threat.
• And then there’s Masochist Elmo, who demands beatings. I am starting to think someone at the manufacturing plant has a sick sense of humor.
• This makes me feel like I am truly living in The Matrix, but according to Wikipedia, “Elmo is the only Muppet ever to testify before the U.S. Congress.” Ummmmm…..all the stuff that is going on in the world, and ELMO gets to address a Congressional Subcommittee????? I am all for supporting arts education, but is Elmo really the best spokesperson? Apparently the former Congressman who proposed this as a good idea either wanted to annoy his fellow members of Congress to death, or assumed the members of Congress had the mental capacity of 3 year olds who can only refer to themselves in the third person and wanted to engage them at their own level.
  
• An Elmo impersonator was arrested and taken away in handcuffs for harassing tourists near Hollywood and Highland a few years ago.  Will there be no end to the crimes?
• O.M.G.  I just found this new Elmo toy -Elmo Live!  I am scared, and not just because of that weird Satanic altar-like background in the video.  O.M.G. Does a doll really need to do all that?  It’s freakier than the clown from Poltergeist!  Elmo Live is due for nationwide release in October, which means it will probably be high on the average toddler’s Christmas wish list.  The article mentions “A pre-sale opportunity will be available in the spring for consumers to reserve Elmo Live for delivery on October 14th.”  I think anyone who needs to shop for tots should get on that, in spite of how freaky and potentially annoying Elmo Live seems to be.  I foresee a full post devoted to Elmo Live in the future.

Ok, I’ve had all the Elmo I can stand for one day.  Next post: The Wiggles.