Breaking news: Looks like the ongoing battle between Barbie and the Bratz finally has a winner. “Queen Pimp” Barbie has been declared Bordello Madame and will be receiving a piece of all the Bratz’ earnings. Several of the Bratz are apparently very upset with the decision and are rumored to have already submitted their resumes to the Bunny Ranch.  Stay tuned for more info!

You can call them Barbies and Bratz dolls and fight about the distinctions between the two if you’d like, but I prefer to call them “The First Serious Knock to a Developing Girl’s Self Esteem.” First of all, there is the body type which is biologically impossible to possess without extreme plastic surgery. If Barbie were human, she’d look like a Vegas stripper, and the Bratz’ lollipop heads and stick bodies absolutely scream “severe eating disorder”. Already, these dolls are creating an impossible goal for young girls to aspire to, but the dolls don’t stop at catalyzing body dysmorphic disorder and self esteem issues.

The doll pushers take it a step further and add hooker clothes and matching make-up to the dolls, as if to obliterate any connection to the “reality” of the female body. These dolls are designed for the male fantasy as much as Playboy is, even though they are intended for little girls. I have to admit, though, that Barbie comes across as more of a high-end escort, while the Bratz seem more like the less wealthy but equally slutty friends of Paris Hilton.

I intended this to be more of an informative post than a rant, but obviously I have some unresolved Barbie issues that need to be addressed before an informative post on these dolls can happen. So, more later…