Category — Baby Bling

Babies who divide their time between the French Riviera and Beverly Hills, while trying to master the subtleties of potty training and their ABCs, demand exclusive quality baby gear for play dates and preschool parties. The following baby products have enough taste and refinement to make an impression worthy of the poshest tot:

Amber Hagen Cashmere/Cotton Dinosaur Hoodie: Only $160 for blend of 20% cashmere and 80% cotton. For an extra fee, I am sure you can also buy instructions on how to get baby spit out of cashmere.

Silver Cross Balmoral Pram: This perennial celebrity favorite can be yours for just under $3k. Vroom-vroom.

Minimink Wrap: I wish these came in adult size. It would probably cost more than my car, but it definitely looks “luxurious.” Baby-sized wraps are a slightly more reasonable $120.

Of course, babies with busy social calendars need plenty of fashion options, so here are a few more great links:

• Elegant Baby
• Swanky Moms
• Baby Laundry Boutique

Check out the cool strollers at Kid Kustoms! Their signature stroller is called “The Roddler“, and my favorite style is The Betty. Roddlers can be customized with features like DVD Screens, i-Pod Docks, alligator seat covers and tops…everything a baby needs for a relaxing ride! Apparently prices for “The Roddler” start at $2500, though, so it is pretty much way more than I ever want to spend on a stroller.

Read more about The Roddler:

• Jalopnik: Kustoms for Kids: The Roddler
• Daddy Types: Baby, Remember My Name: The Roddler by Kid Kustoms
• Mommy Daddy Blog

We’re not talking about buying a car for Sweet 16 here. CNN reported today that parents are paying $5,000 or more for parties for 3 year olds. I don’t know about you, but I barely remember my 3rd birthday. As cute as this designer cake from Confetti Cakes is, I don’t think the amount of money spent on it would make it any more memorable to a child. They only care about the taste, and whether or not they can have more.

Is you baby’s life lacking in luxury goods and designer clothes? Are you a Haute Mommy or Daddy? Then check out Baby Couture, the magazine for those born pretentious and out of touch with reality!

Now, I am not hating on the rich and the fabulous. I am happy they enjoy their money and spend it on their kids. But I think there is a huge problem when someone dresses their infant in a “Gold Digger Couture Onesie”, complete with gold studded “chain” necklaces, a “Gold Digger” charm and gold organza ruffles. Nothing like giving your little angel something to aspire to! I guess it is a upgrade from the stripper onesie with built-in “enhancements” featured in Baby Skank magazine last month.*

(*This is obviously sarcasm. There is no Baby Skank magazine. Yet.)

Thanks once again to the goddesses at Jezebel for finding this gem.

SheKnows.com has this great post on extravagant baby gear and gifts, perfect for the infant who already has everything. My favorite is the $17, 000 diamond-encrusted pacifier that is not recommended for actual use. Babies like to put things in their mouth even when those things don’t look like things that they are supposed to put in their mouth, so of course it makes perfect sense to present them with this “fabulous keepsake”. I predict a rash of highly-publicized emergency room visits in the next few years as celebrity toddlers swallow tiny pave cut white diamonds after confusing the shiny bauble for their actual pacifier. Oh well, at least TMZ will have something to talk about.