Posts from — July 2008

The tricycle lawnmower: helping babies with dangerous chores since 1984.

There either had to be a serious quality control issue at the US Patent office or a profound shortage of decent invention patent applications in 1984. Other than Freddie Krueger, who thinks combing a tricycle with a lawnmower is a good idea? I understand the impulse to want to raise green, socially conscious, responsible children, but this is really taking things too far.

No, wait, I spoke to soon. THIS is taking things too far:

Not only is the lawnmower moved to the front, in the perfect position to catch any feet that slip off a pedal, but the child is wearing flip-flops to expedite their future spontaneous toe amputation. The lawnmower bike is even better than the lawnmower tricycle for adding some character-building trauma into a young one’s life!

The lawnmower tricycle and the lawnmower bike: a great way to give your kids a leg up (or off) on their chores!

I don’t even know where to start with last night’s episode of the Baby Borrowers: Daton’s admission that Morgan doesn’t help him become the better man he wants to be, Alicea and Cory’s amazing aplomb with a house full of strange kids (including the demonic Hannah), the fact that Sasha actually stuck it out after last week’s meltdown, or the vegetarian kids that kept harping on Kelsey about her horrendous eating habits. It was an eye-opening episode to say the least.

I guess I’ll begin with Cory and Alicea, since I am really impressed with the way they handled everything that was thrown at them. First of all, they had to take care of the spoiled rotten Hannah and her poor little sister. Many people have already commented on what possibly lead to that bratty disposition, so there’s no need for me to reiterate, but I will say that Cory was fantastic in his handling of Hannah’s disrespectful behavior and temper tantrums. Alicea also deserves kudos for keeping her temper in check and just generally being a lot more mellow and involved with the process.

I really thought the spontaneous sleepover would break her, but I am glad she proved me wrong. She and Cory did a great job fashioning makeshift sleeping bags for the kids, and they even bedded down on the couch next to the kids to keep an eye on things.

The preview for next week’s episode said that one of the teens is definitely going home, but I think Alicea and Cory will see this through to the end. I think if anything, Morgan will probably leave, since she isn’t really taking the experiment seriously and it is starting to effect Daton’s feeling for her. Good thing I am already hooked on this show, so I am sure I’ll be tuning in again next week to catch the fireworks.

The Zaky infant “hand” pillows are totally weird and creepy to me as an adult, but apparently babies really like them, so they can’t be all bad. If the Zakys are as comforting and effective as everyone says they are, they could be a total lifesaver for babysitting aunts everywhere, not to mention frustrated parents.

But it turns out the baby doesn’t like them, maybe you can incorporate them into a kid’s Halloween costume!

This article about a super-strong baby is making me feel a bit like an underachiever, especially at the gym. If the toddler in your life is a little body builder in training, here are some cool learning toys to help them reach their goals:

Redmon Kids Weight Bench

Fisher-Price Smart Cycle:

First Fitness Kids First Treadmill

After weeks of wondering and waiting, we finally have confirmed news: Angelina Jolie gave birth last night in France. Mom and the twins - a boy named Knox Leon and a girl named Vivienne Marcheline - are reported to be doing very well. Best wishes and congratulations to the newly enlarged family!

There’s some new research that indicates that mothers’ get a high similar to that of cocaine from the simple act of seeing their babies smile. The study was done to explore the dynamics of the bond between mother and child, but it also may help to explain all the zoned-out double stroller pushing moms at the mall. They’re all buzzing on baby smiles!

Ain’t no party like a baby party cuz a baby party don’t stop!

It was potty training with toddler time on The Baby Borrowers last night, leaving the teens grimacing and gagging their way through 3 days of disgusting sights and smells on pretty much every surface of their homes. Fun times!

While last night’s episode of The Baby Borrowers has all kinds of difficult-to-watch moments (many involving the utterly clueless Daton and Morgan), I was most disturbed by Sasha’s complete and total profanity-strewn meltdown at the end of the episode. Everyone in the neighborhood heard it, so I am pretty sure little Luke heard it, and I think that upset me more than watching Morgan drag the kid with the dirty diaper off the couch. ( I have seen plenty of parents drag mid-tantrum kids down aisles of Toys-R-Us, and those kids were fine, so I don’t really see the big deal here.  The kid even seemed to enjoy it.  Though it’s not something you want happening every day, of course.)  Sasha’s meltdown was on par, however, with Morgan not wiping the poop off the baby before re-diapering him: whatever baby Luke heard may linger with him longer than a poop-induced rash, and might be just as painful. Kids are little sponges, Sasha - they absorb everything, so watch what you say and how you say it!

The previews from next week’s episode show Sasha with her bags packed and ready to go, but I hope in spite of it all she sticks it out until the end. She does have a way with kids in general. And to Sasha’s credit, I thought she might be in trouble with Luke from the moment his mom started telling them how easy and fuss-free he is, how if they just lay down with him, he’ll go to sleep etc. It was a little too much “My son is perfect” and hinted that no matter what Sasha did, she was not going to be good enough for this mom’s tastes. However, as good as I think Sasha can be with kids, her response to criticism from Luke’s mom was WAY over-the-top and immature. She definitely needs to get that in check. Kudos to her boyfriend Jordan for stepping in and defusing the situation, though.

I am really looking forward to next week’s episode: pre-teens and pets, including a snake. Should be good! I hope Sasha sticks around!

My Beautiful Mommy is a book written by a doctor with the intention of making a parent’s plastic surgery less stressful for children. That seems like a pretty noble goal, but I can’t help wondering if the book is simply setting the kids up for more stress and anxiety down the road. If Mommy “needs” cosmetic surgery to feel beautiful, it stands to reason her kids may someday feel that way about themselves, too.

But, there are plenty of people who disagree and think My Beautiful Mommy is the answer to their prays. I remember when I first moved to Los Angeles, I was acquainted with an almost-30 year old woman who was anxious to get pregnant not for the joy of bringing a child into the world but because of the breast implants her husband promised to get her after she had a kid. I haven’t seen her in years, but I imagine she would love this book. Perhaps it’s just a matter of perspective, but I think of My Beautiful Mommy as the start of self esteem nightmares. At any rate, here are some differing views about My Beautiful Mommy:

• Newsweek: Mommy 2.0
• Jezebel: My Beautiful Mommy Teaches Kids Why Mommy’s Face is Suddenly “Prettier”
• CBC News: Critics lambaste kids book on plastic surgery
• The Ampersand: My Beautiful Mommy and other must-have children’s books
• EW.com: My beautiful, scarring-me-forever mommy?
• 23/6: My Beautiful Mommy Is the Best Children’s Book About Plastic Surgery I’ve Ever Read

Here’s a great idea for kids who can’t yet read numbers but really want a cell phone: the Nakamiki Children Phone. It has four pre-set speed dials, one on each of the teddy bear’s paw, and actually allows parents to tune in and listen to their child’s surroundings without alerting the child. It’s marketed for kids from 5-15, so I can understand the appeal of the parental monitoring, especially with teenagers, but I don’t think kids over 10 can be easily convinced to carry a teddy bear phone instead of a real cell phone.

However, it does seem great for younger kids. In addition to being easy to use and super cute, it has a toxin-free exterior, so it’s safe while providing safety. Pretty cool!

Pocahontas is a relatively new appointee to the Disney Princess pantheon, but she is one of my all-time favorites. And not just because I “am” Pocahontas, according to the “Which Disney Princess are You?” quiz. Pocahontas is also a favorite because she’s cool, smart, independent and conscientious, yet has some attitude and ingenuity. I am a little disappointed, though, that she doesn’t get as much attention or merchandising as other Disney Princesses. You’ll find Pocahontas on items that feature multiple Disney Princesses, but there aren’t very many exclusively Pocahontas items. I think it would be really cool if there was a Pocahontas backpack and tent set or a Pocahontas fishing pole or snowshoes or something like that, because Pocahontas is very outdoorsy, and it would be great if there were more outdoor toys that appeal to girls.

Here are some more links about Pocahontas the Disney Princess and Pocahontas the historical figure:

• Disney Archives: Pocahontas
• APVA: Pocahontas
• The Pocahontas Myth
• John Smith’s Letter to Queen Anne Regarding Pocahontas
• Virtual Jamestown: Pocahontas